Horse and Carriage Makes a Comeback
Kuehne Company is excited to announce that we will be adding a new kind of delivery method for our products – horse and carriage tankers!!!
Ken Carola, Salesman, is ecstatic to share the news with his customers. He says “Due to the high price of diesel, Kuehne is using this alternative method of transportation. All Customers using this method will not be subject to the Temporary Fuel Surcharge!”
Work has already begun to chop up a section of the transportation yard and sew high-quality grass for the horses. Additionally, employees are welcome to pet the horses during their breaks. Studies have shown that petting horses is therapeutic for both people and horses, and sentiment is high that our horses will receive plenty of petting throughout the day.
Horse fuel – talk about green energy!!!
A man who saw the Kuehne horse-drawn tanker going by was psyched!
Mario Cifuentes, Kuehne’s IT Manager, states that “after intense research and development, it has been found that this new delivery method will not only benefit our employees but will also improve our new ERP system.” He and his team eagerly added the horse and carriage method to the computer systems.
Jose Fernandez, a Lead Fleet Mechanic in New Jersey, has always loved horses and is excited to meet his new coworkers. Surprisingly, he also has extensive knowledge of old-timey wagons and will be playing a critical role in updating the wagons to meet our customers’ needs.
He says “I can’t wait for the complaints from the drivers about our new equipment.” Yes, Jose, I hope they all like horses.
Leading the Way
One driver who is excited to be taking the first couple of loads is Francisco Troncoso, New Jersey’s Lead Driver. He recently received his horse-drawn hazmat tanker-carriage driving certification.
Valerie Kuehne, Sales Analyst and HR Coordinator, has been training the horses with her daughter for the past few months on her horse ranch in North Carolina. “Down here people are used to seeing the occasional horse-drawn tanker,” she says. “But I know up north it will be a seen as an innovation.”
Mr. Kuehne, President of Kuehne Company, goes on to say, “Our fleet of horse-drawn tankers will be the finest in the land, featuring sustainably made, eco-friendly shoes especially designed for bleach-service and elimination catching systems to avoid any mess on customer property or our interstate system.”
Welcome to the Team!
Favorite Drink: Dihydrogen Monoxide
Safety & Saving Time
And finally, our Transportation Department’s Manager of Dispatch and Customer Relations, Kelly Ward, was glad to find that she will not need to register the horses. “It will cut back on a lot of paperwork,” she says.
At Kuehne, we take safety seriously and never horse-around, unless it comes to eco-friendly delivery via our horse-drawn tanker fleet!
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Ronda Kuehne agrees that this is a step forward for the Company!
I want to change professions and become a horse-drawn carriage driver. Where do I sign up???
Reach out to Francisco – he can start training you today!
We finally brought our transportation department into the 21st Century!…
I am so ready to carriage all my deliveries.
The IT Department has devoted a lot of time and effort to this technology that we need to see how Klorina and her teammates are doing.
If need be I can provide Klorina with all the dihydrogen monoxide she could possibly want. You truly are doing GODs work at Kuehne Company
The plant boilers can be modified to burn the waste gathered by the elimination catching systems, as a renewable energy source, to make steam.
We hope everyone had a very Happy April Fool’s Day!